Jim Gaffigan
The Christmas tree – Where did that tradition come from? It sounds like the behavior of a drunk man. I can picture it now, “Honey, why is there a…pine tree in our living room? I like it. Tomorrow, we’re gonna…we’re gonna decorate it for Jesus.”
Brad Pitt
Getting a burp out of your little thing is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across. It's truly one of life's most satisfying moments.
Rick
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science
Sheldon Cooper
"Hello. Yes the elevator's out of order you'll have to use the stairs.... Of course you can, pizza dates back to the 16th centuary, while the first elevator was not installed untill 1852,,, That means that for over 300 years, people carried pizzas up stairs. Be partt of that proud tradition."
Robert Fulghum
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Giftopix 
