Jim Gaffigan
The Christmas tree – Where did that tradition come from? It sounds like the behavior of a drunk man. I can picture it now, “Honey, why is there a…pine tree in our living room? I like it. Tomorrow, we’re gonna…we’re gonna decorate it for Jesus.”
Edwin Jenner (Noah Emmerich), The Walking Dead, Season 1: Wildfire
I think tomorrow I'm gonna blow my brains out. I haven't decided. But tonight, I'm getting drunk.
Ron White
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Giftopix 
